🌍 Context

Context explores the hidden ‘scripts’ shaping our beliefs, behaviours, and experience of sexual wellbeing. By understanding and unpacking these scripts, we can question and rescript them, ultimately creating space for more authentic choices in our intimate lives and relationships.

What we consider as ‘normal’ is often defined by our social context. But it doesn’t have to be.

The ideas and beliefs we’re exposed to while growing up shape how we think, feel, and act. Many of these influences come from ‘scripts’ - unspoken guides for behavior that help us navigate different areas of life.

Scripts influence how we behave within groups, shaping everything from everyday interactions to personal relationships. They can be broken into three main types:

🗣️ Social Scripts

These are the unwritten rules of behavior in social situations. They guide us on what’s considered polite, acceptable, or expected.

Example: Waiting for everyone to be served before eating at a formal dinner.

🌍 Societal Scripts
These reflect the shared norms and values of the society we live in. They influence how we view success, identity, and life milestones.
Example: The belief that getting a university degree is essential for success.

❤️‍🔥 Sexual Scripts
These define culturally accepted expectations around sexual and romantic behaviour. They shape how we approach intimacy and relationships.
Example: The idea that sex in relationships should always be spontaneous.

By understanding the scripts that influence us, we can begin to question, redefine, or let go of those that no longer serve us - creating space for more authentic and intentional choices.


👥 Social Influences 

We're exposed to social influences which impact our thoughts, feelings and behaviours about relationships & intimacy.

It doesn't help that society tends to both stigmatise and overly fixate on sex, which isn't the healthiest approach to such a fundamental aspect of our overall wellbeing.

Sexual scripts often set certain expectations for how intimacy should unfold, which can shape our experiences of sex and relationships. These scripts can feel like unspoken rules, and they often influence how we think things should be, even if they don't reflect our true desires.

🤔 Expectations: Believing that sex should always look a certain way.

🚻 Gender Roles: Assuming that one partner, based on their gender, should take a more passive or responsive role during intimacy.

🏋️‍♀️ Body Image: Thinking that you must have a certain body type to be desirable.

Left unchecked, these scripts often lead to shame, guilt and harmful beliefs about ourselves and our relationships.

By questioning and redefining them, we can foster healthier, more authentic experiences of intimacy and self-worth.

The first step in redefining what sex is for you is to understand what you’ve learned about it so far.

✍️ Reflective Task: Sex is..

Take a moment with pen and paper to complete the following sentences. Don’t overthink it - just write down the first thing that comes to mind:

After you’ve finished this exercise, spend a couple of moments reviewing your answers.