💬 Communication

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📝 About this Section:

Communication
highlights the importance of clear, respectful conversations about your needs, boundaries, and desires - whether with yourself, a partner, or a healthcare provider - helping you confidently speak up for your sexual health and wellbeing.

🤗 Communication & Connection

Communication, including self-talk, is essential for understanding your needs, desires, and boundaries—both with yourself and with your partner, if you have one. It helps create a space where you feel heard, respected, and valued. Clear communication strengthens your sexual wellbeing and builds trust, emotional intimacy, and connection.


🪞 Task:Sexual Self-Inquiry

Understanding your feelings, desires, and boundaries is vital, whether you’re single or in a relationship. Regular sexual-self check-ins help you stay attuned to your body and mind.

💡Take a moment to close your eyes. Place one hand over your heart and the other on your stomach, and ask yourself:

  • How am I feeling today - physically, emotionally, sexually?
  • What do I need right now?
  • Is there anything I want to explore or change in my sexual experiences?
  • How do I feel about intimacy or sex right now?
  • What feels right or wrong for me in this moment?

This practice helps you connect with your body and emotions, empowering you to clarify your needs with confidence.

🪞 Task: Partner Check-In

Check-ins with your partner are essential for maintaining a healthy, fulfilling sexual relationship. It’s best to have these conversations outside the bedroom, where there’s no pressure or distractions. This creates space to focus on emotional connection and communicate openly.

These discussions might feel intimidating, but they help ensure both partners feel comfortable, safe, and heard. They also strengthen trust and intimacy in the relationship.

💡 Here are some questions to ask one another:

  • "How are you feeling today?"
  • "Is there something you’d like to try or explore when we’re intimate?"
  • "Is there something you need more of (or less of) when we have sex?"
  • "Do you feel emotionally connected right now?"
  • "I’m really keen to understand your needs better, what do you enjoy most?"

Regular check-ins help keep you aligned with each other’s needs, fostering a deeper emotional and sexual connection.

📣 Communicating with Confidence

The key is to approach the discussion of intimate topics with confidence, openness, and respect. Here are some examples of how to bring up important conversations..

💡 Conversation Starters:

  • 🚨Expressing discomfort or concern:
    “I’ve noticed I’m feeling a bit disconnected lately, and I think we should talk about it so we can get back to where we both feel good. What do you think?”
  • ❤️Discussing what feels good or not:
    “I really love when you touch me like this, but I’d like to try something different. Would you be open to exploring it with me?”
  • 🌟Talking about desires:
    “I’ve been thinking about something I’d like to try - how do you feel about exploring this together?”
  • 🔄Asking for feedback:
    “How are you feeling about sex lately? Is there anything you’d like to share or change?”

👐 Consent

Consent is the foundation of every intimate experience. It’s built on mutual understanding, respect, and agreement for each other’s boundaries. Consent should always be enthusiastic, informed, and ongoing - whether it's a casual encounter, a long-term partner, or anything in between.

💡Questions to Ask Before Intimacy:

  • “Are you comfortable with this? Would you like to try something different?”
  • “I want to make sure you’re feeling good about this. How do you feel?”

💡Questions to Ask During Intimacy:

  • Checking in with your body and emotions: “How does this feel for you?”
  • “Are you still comfortable with this?”
  • “Would you prefer to try something else?”

It’s equally important that both you and your partner are conscientious of each other’s needs. Regular check-ins during intimate moments are vital to ensuring consent is maintained and both partners feel comfortable, safe, and engaged, regardless of the nature of your relationship.

🗣️Expressing Boundaries and Desires

Clear communication about boundaries and desires is crucial - not just in intimate settings, but in all aspects of your life and relationships. Expressing your needs allows both partners to feel safe, respected, and valued.

🛑 Examples of Boundaries:

  • “I need some space before we get intimate - I’m not in the right headspace right now.”
  • “I’m not comfortable with X, but I’d love to explore Y instead.”
  • “It’s important to me that we connect emotionally before being physically intimate.”

❤️‍🔥Examples of Desires:

  • “I’d love to try something new in the bedroom—maybe we can explore X together?”
  • “It really turns me on when you talk to me during sex—would you be open to that?”
  • “I feel most connected to you when we spend time cuddling after sex, just talking.”

Remember, communication around boundaries and desires isn’t a one-time conversation - it’s ongoing. As your comfort levels evolve, so should the way you express your needs and desires to each other.

✍️ Reflective Task: Growing from Experience

🛑 Think about a time when you faced a challenge in expressing a boundary, whether with a partner, a friend, or in a dating situation. How would you approach it differently now, knowing what you know?

❤️‍ Think about a time when you wanted to express a desire but didn’t feel confident enough to do so. What would you do differently now to communicate that desire with confidence?

👌 Top Tip: Relevant Affirmations

Use affirmations to help build your confidence around boundaries and advocating for your needs. 

💡Here are some examples:

  • “My needs and boundaries are valid, and I am worthy of having them respected.”
  • “I trust myself to express my desires clearly and confidently.”
  • “I deserve to have open, honest conversations about my boundaries and desires.”

👩‍⚕️ Raising Your Sexual Health Concerns

If you want to raise an issue related to your sexual health/wellbeing with your doctor and feel uncertain or intimidated, you're not alone. If your doctor doesn’t ask about your sex life, it doesn’t mean it’s not important. Anything affecting your mental, physical, or emotional health is always worth bringing up. 

📱 Prepare in advance: Write down your thoughts and concerns in your phone’s notes app. Let your doctor know you’d like to give them a summary of what’s been going on. This will help provide clarity and save time during the appointment.

🖼️ Paint a complete picture:

  • ❓ Main concerns
  • 🔢 Pain or discomfort (rate it out of 10)
  • 🌶️ Description (e.g., stinging, dull ache)
  • 🕰️ When it began and frequency
  • 🔄 Any changes over time
  • 💉 Previous treatments
  • 💊 Relevant health conditions or medications
  • ❤️ Impact on your life, mental health, or relationships

🎯 Set clear goals: Let your doctor know what you’re hoping to achieve from the consultation. You should leave with clear guidance and next steps.

🤝 If they can’t help: Ask them who can.

🚫 Be open about your boundaries: If any part of the appointment or physical exam feels uncomfortable, communicate this right away.

👩‍⚕️ Trust your body knowledge: You are the expert on yourself. If the advice provided doesn’t feel sufficient, let your doctor know you need more clarity.

💪 And always remember: No one knows your body better than you.





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